Darn dat Dinesh D’Souza!

His books and movies sell like gangbusters. Mine don't. I don't even have a movie. I wonder why. Why would someone even read someone who's not as sexually pure as I tell you I am every day? Oh, I meant to update you: a doctor emailed me and told me I got my oral herpes kissing disease from a mosquito. Darned mosquitoes! Darn dat Dinesh D’Souza!

Oh, well. I'm gonna tell you all about rubbing Vicks VapoRub all over my chest and tummy and put on a clean white T-shirt so you'll like me more and buy my books, too! And if you "like" me on Facebook, I'll even let you peek underneath!

Why is my wife still in Alaska?