There's a prayer tradition I really like, I'm not sure of the origin. It works at many levels. You say a prayer, like the Memorare for example, once a day for the person in your family who is in most need of the prayer. But you don't assume you know who that person is, which is fine because God does know. However, you assume that needy person is yourself.So aside from the good that the prayer itself does, this attitude helps you get some much needed humility, especially if you're the only religious person or the most religious person in your family. Plus it kind of helps you get in the habit of "letting go and letting God", as they say. Let Him aim the grace cannon, you just keep feeding him rounds.
Try it and you might find it very hard at first. Most of us assume we know who it is in our family who's on that ol' Highway to Hell. Think of this practice as an effective insurance policy at the very least.
another good suggestion. similarly, if not apposite, any therapist worth his salt would tell you that what bothers you about other people is what you most despise about yourself
ReplyDeleteYes, I've heard spiritual directors say the same thing.
ReplyDeleteScientifically, how do you prove that someone is really projecting?
ReplyDeleteFor example, I don't really care if you guys are big time consumers. I have trouble seeing how we can sustain this lifestyle. That's why I wrote about it. I am not secretly fighting off urges to shop for consumer products at walmart or to eat at McDonald's.
What about life issues, are we closet nazis because we are pro-life?
I've heard this before and it really sounds like pop psychology to me.
However, all spare Ave's and other prayers are intentionally directed toward poor frozen lake effect Pauli. He's barely hanging on. ;-)
I am going for a bike ride.
CM, I think Kathleen and I are talking about personal character faults, like anger, pickiness, gossip, gluttony, etc., not objectively held beliefs (abortion) or subjective (where to shop). I realize you might think some of that stuff is not morally neutral like I do, but that is another whole discussion.
ReplyDeleteIf you assert that projection is a possibility then our opponents can you use that same argument about us. They don't see truth as objective. It invalidates everyone's position right from the start. Whoever asserts something has a hidden agenda or has not been filleted by a psychoanalyst.
ReplyDeleteI could argue that our dominant culture is gluttonous without being a glutton.
i didn't mean to say that whatever makes you mad is *always* projection. some people are just evil, some people are screwups, some people are immature. but it's a continuum. i think those who remind one of oneself simply stand out in the landscape. certain people make me mad because they remind me of myself, but of how i once was (or how i once thought i could get away with being). I know all their tricks and poses and feints and deceptions, and feel they should be exposed. (which is why i keep harping on britney dreher, in my case an irresistably perfect specimen.)
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