"It's not even close."

I feel somewhat like I'm waking up from a weird dream, an alternate reality. I've been driving to western Michigan and back every week for five months. It has kept me extremely busy. I wanted to spend every spare moment with my wife and kids and my weird hobbies which have nothing to do with scribbling on the internets. Now this contract is ending and I have all these thoughts in my head, like puddles after the rain, from the first half of 2014 which I never commented on here, though I wanted to. So forgive me if some of this stuff is "old news", old by our modern news-cycle standards at any rate.

Here's the first thing I wanted to remark on. Yes, Bloomberg is quite a thing. And obviously his new anti-gun project is something which I detest and I hope turns ultimately into a huge waste of time, money and resources. So I was going to opine that I suspect my hope is correct. There are plenty of Democrats who detest gun-grabbing and I believe this group is playing to a rather small gallery.

But when I got to the last two paragraphs, I thought I'd wandered into an amateur comedy club. The focus of my derision shifted as Bloomberg went full retard into religion:

Mr. Bloomberg was introspective as he spoke, and seemed both restless and wistful. When he sat down for the interview, it was a few days before his 50th college reunion. His mortality has started dawning on him, at 72. And he admitted he was a bit taken aback by how many of his former classmates had been appearing in the “in memoriam” pages of his school newsletter.

But if he senses that he may not have as much time left as he would like, he has little doubt about what would await him at a Judgment Day. Pointing to his work on gun safety, obesity and smoking cessation, he said with a grin: “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”

Stand back, St. Peter! The former Mayor of New York is heading straight in!

Al E. quipped that two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. Then he added the disclaimer that he wasn't sure about the universe. I'm wondering something. If you could earn a place in Heaven―and I don't believe you can―would you be able to if you weren't even sure Heaven existed? In other words, you weren't sure there was a God to be worshiped on earth? And if everyone in Heaven knows everything there is to be known as perfectly as each of their minds can grasp knowledge, will there be interviews at the Pearly Gates? Even with people as important as Michael Bloomberg? Possibly; journalists and video crews who make it there might not know how to do anything else.

I hope Bloomberg does go to Heaven, but I don't think he'll like it. There won't be any government and no ability to run anything or ban anything. There will be smokers there, no doubt, and obese people like St. Thomas Aquinas and plenty of firing of guns for fun, since they won't be able to hurt anybody. (Trust me on this last point.) But maybe Bloomberg's first meeting with G. K. Chesterton would be worth capturing on video.