Hilarious Meltdowns on Democratic Underground

Speaking of reactions, the Daily Caller provides us with a great Top 16 Meltdown List from Democratic Underground posts reacting to the wipe-out of all they hold dear and the repudiation of the war-on-women façade with all the other left scare tactics. Here's a shorter list of my faves, along with my own comments.

1. We need to yell louder and cuss harder, dammit!
   
   Unknown Beatle: “What the fuck is the matter with this nation? Things aren’t getting better, they’re getting worse, and as hard as we try and yell and cuss, no one is doing shit about all the criminality going on with the banks, politicians, and anyone that breaks the law as long as they’re filthy rich. I’m so fucking pissed off right now I can’t see straight. My blood pressure is sky high. I need to take it easy.”
   
   Yes, please take it easy, UB. Have a drink or four.
   
   
2. "Charlatans, Demagogues and Scalawags"
   
   KingCharlemagne: “I am deeply disappointed in my fellow Americans tonight. The suffering that will ensue was and is mostly entirely preventable. So I am disappointed that we shall have to endure this suffering for at least 2 years now because Americans could not see through the lies sold to them by this pack of charlatans, demagogues and scalawags. Yes, the Democrats largely ran away from President Obama after allowing the Republicans to frame the race as “Obama, Obama, Obama” and that bespeaks a party in trouble. But in the final analysis, voters chose to vote against their self-interest and against the interest of their compatriots for what? To ‘send a message’ to Dems? The reality is that things will not get better in the next two years. They will get worse and possibly much, much worse. And so I am disappointed that my fellow Americans chose a path that will cause suffering for their countrymen when I have to believe most of them did not seek to cause such suffering.”
   
   This is how this trudging rant reads to me: "disappointed... suffering... disappointed... suffering... disappointed... suffering... suffering...."
   
   I wonder if KingCharlamagne realizes the racist history of the term scalawag.
   
   
3. Ampersand Unicode contemplates suicide: "Should I just do myself in?"
   
   Ampersand Unicode: ”I’m actually scared — as in can’t-sleep-tonight-Halloween-came-five-days-late scared — of the GOP fascists taking over the Kennedy state. I voted for Coakley but am not optimistic because of all the endorsements Baker has gotten and the past history of electing GOP governors (Romney, Weld). I’m also looking to leave because MA just voted to keep the filthy casinos. Also, there is a gun store that just popped up out of nowhere down the street from my house on a main street. I no longer feel safe in my neighborhood or my state. Should I find a way to move to Vermont where Bernie and the sane people live? Or if I can’t afford to leave, should I just do myself in? I honestly am terrified that we’re living in the decline of the Weimar Republic and the rise of the Reich.”
   
   This is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I live in the same country as some people. I could say the same thing about some conservatives I know personally who routinely compare Obama to Hitler. But it is probably more accurate to say they don't know the facts of history very well. The Beer Hall Putsch happened in early November but the comparisons with the 2014 Midterms end there; people actually got killed! Honestly.
   
   
4. We don't deserve Obama; he should just quit and show everybody
   
   CK_John: “I think the President has to put resignation on the table and not give them the satisfaction of being impeached.”
   
   This is hilarious. The fantasy looks like this: Obama comes in to the room with Republican lawmakers and threatens to resign. He calmly says "I'm just gonna take my Biden and go home." The Republicans are aghast, and realize that the US will be hit with tidal waves and hurricanes if they let Obama step down and unleash the wrath of the global warming gods. They plead with him to stay, but he and Joe Biden raise their hands and ascend into Heaven. It's the leftist version of Left Behind.
   
   
5. Put the lime in the coconut, baby
   
   upaloopa: “So now that we have nothing more to lose how about taking our party on a hard turn to the left. Let’s come up with every progressive idea we can and put together a liberal platform for 2016. Never compromise with the devil”
   
   Please, please, PLEASE do this. There is nothing we love more than seeing your true colors, upaloopa, and watching normal people utterly reject your ideological points one by one. How about the 2016 democrat platform featuring mandatory bathrooms for transvestites, 100% gun confiscation and open borders as the top items? That should be enough to start with.
   

The rest are funny, too. I just wish we could have laughed this hard in 2012.