Subtitles for the Benedict Option book

Not a crow, a penguin sentinel guarding the approaches to your thinking

UPDATE (as they say): Apparently Rod Dreher's brilliant, Svengali-like agent, the one who got him the million-dollar advance for the now-remaindered book about Rod's sister Ruthie, has found some pickings yet within the greater fool theory of publishing.

I say apparently because, OTOH, no one from Penguin Sentinel has actually called me to confirm this while, OTOH, you would just not believe the zetabytes of anonymous email I myself receive praising not only my posts but my very existence as well. So there's obviously an issue of credibility to be resolved here with respect to this alleged Penguin Sentinel publishing contract. But enough about me and any hypothetical eating of any hypothetical crow over this hypothetical Benedict Option book ::cough::.

Anyway, now Rod wants subtitles for his, as Pikkumatti has aptly described it, vaporware.

I've already offered one suggestion:

The Benedict Option: Revenge of the Nerds

based on my analysis that, at bottom, the only religion which can adequately fulfill all the conditions with which Rod has circumscribed his concept is the one within which he has now taken refuge, Russian Orthodoxy, and from which Safe Space he now wages the good fight of Mean Girl snark against all other practitioners as he routinely characterizes them: those MTD Protestants, those pedophile and laissez-faire Catholics, and obviously those Christ-denying Jews alike.

Hey, if you're not an Orthodox Christian, according to Rod's consistent blogging you're obviously not a real orthodox Christian, and you're just not going to pass through that narrow eye of the needle into the kingdom of the select BO.

But an equally useful subtitle might be

The Benedict Option: Though Your Personal Faith in Christ and Christianity Have Failed You in Our Current Age, Fear Not: I, Rod Dreher, Am Here To Show You a New Way

Because if your personal faith in Christ and Christianity were sufficient, why would you need a Benedict Option to shore them up?

Okay, that's two from me. What are your suggestions for faceless editor Bria Sandford, FNG and lowest member on the Penguin Sentinel totem pole, tasked with selecting a subtitle for and otherwise rendering Rod's hypothetical Benedict Option book?