Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Wisdom of Justin Timberlake

Andy N says he likes absurd humor in his blogger profile and I have a weakness for it as well. So I thought I'd do this top 10 quotes list for him. It's from a link I found to roughly 100 quotes from Justin Timberlake. Honestly, I have no idea what the guy sings or sounds like, except he was either married to Britney or dated her. But I know cluelessness wisdom when I see it.



10) I never took formal dance training. It's something I picked up from going to clubs and watching MTV.

9) For me, Michael Jackson and Prince were bigger than lollipops! (whaaaaa....?)

8) It's sad that we only use 10 percent of our brains. I think some people can tap into another part of their brain. (actually not true, the first part, that is. On the other hand...)

7) The mind is more powerful than anything in the world. If we were able to use our full minds, we would probably destroy ourselves and the world.

6) If there were something that I was going to endorse, it would probably be something like sneakers.

5) If you put out 150 percent, then you can always expect 100 percent back. That's what I was always told as a kid, and It's worked for me so far! (Who got the other 50%? Don't let this guy do your retirement porfolio.)

4) I believe people can move things with their minds. (There goes that crazy mind again!)

3) Every relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They just can't handle all the love. (Yeah, that's rough....)

2) You shouldn't pick on old people, man.

and, my favorite...

1) I used to think I actually was Batman.

Hell

Cubeland Mystic reminded me of a great song for Lent. "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zippers is a catchy tune with even catchier lyrics about the most serious of subjects. Lyrics courtesy of LyricsFreak:

In the afterlife
You could be headed for the serious strife
Now you make the scene all day
But tomorrow therell be hell to pay

People listen attentively
I mean about future calamity
I used to think the idea was obsolete
Until I heard the old man stamping his feet.

This is a place where eternally
Fire is applied to the body
Teeth are extruded and bones are ground
Then baked into cakes which are passed around.

Beauty, talent, fame, money, refinement
Top skill and brain
But all the things you try to hide
Will be revealed on the other side.

Now the d and the a and the m
And the n and the a
And the t and the i-o-n
Lose your face, lose your name
Then get fitted for a suit of flame.


Now, I know I shouldn't do this, so don't tell anyone.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Sister MM on "Me Time"

It's fat Tuesday, but let's not overdo it. That goes for all of us.

Check out another Sister Mary Martha lenten post, this time she takes on "me time" among other things:

One reader is considering giving up her 'me' time for Lent. I didn't realize Catholics had any 'me' time that didn't involve prayer and/or fasting. Live and learn. I guess Jesus had some 'me' time out in the desert, but Satan showed up and ruined it. Right during His bubble bath.

Monday, February 19, 2007

It was really weird...

I had my long coat on, but I'd left my hat in the car. I was walking toward the mall entrance when I felt like I was being followed. When I turned around I saw 5 guys with big cameras pointing straight at me! When they saw me, they looked confused and put their cameras down. Obviously this was a case of mistaken identity. I wonder who they thought I looked like.



Nahhh... cheekbones are too high....

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Cha-ching

Another nice gratuitous slap at the Catholic Church brings us up to $6.00. It turns out that some Catholic churches are -- for shame! -- buying ashes instead of producing them locally.

Does the Father not understand the sense of continuity and connection between this year's ashes and last year's Palm Sunday services. To dust everything living returns? Good grief! All in the name of convenience.

I imagine these are probably the same churches using cheap imported wine for communion?

Anyway, Rod then provides an example of a bad Catholic liturgical experience he had. Deja vu, anyone? In the combox, a commenter calling himself "ignorant-redneck" who "hates being Catholic" throws a few sticks on the fire:

This post sums up well, why I hate being catholic. Love the magisterial theology, love the liturgy, when it is the liturgy. Have almost no respect for priests or bishops, because of things like you just wrote about.


It gets even better as he instructs us on the meaning of the theological word "damn". Commenter TGB then gives us a laugh and saves me from having to comment:

Don't worry, someday, somewhere you'll find a priest or minister or shaman or mullah who says things exactly the way you want them said, until they say something differently than you want them said and then you'll find another who says things exactly the way you want them said. It's a journey, not a destination, you know.


In other news, a dog barked at a cat somewhere across town.........

From the banks of chaos in my mind...

Yeah, well COOL if they're finally able to get past the "din of their Rice Krispies" and rock again. The big man can't quite hit those high notes, as evidenced at the Grammy's, but nonetheless it was a great performance. They flew in the original vocal track and made it work really well. It's hard to imagine the trio not doing something well.

I remember watching that video Police around the World circa 1988 with one of my bandmates. It had hilarious sequences; one was Andy Summers wrestling a Sumo guy in Japan in slow motion while "Walking on the Moon plays in the background. I guess Stewart Copeland is spinning a lot of the same type of material into a new DVD?



Andy Nowicki(e), you know about this WAY more than I do, I'm so out of it. So I'm designating you as the Police news update correspondent. Don't be timid -- feel free to high-jack every thread, this is not high-school. Cubeland Mystic is a huge fan, too, BTW.

So I guess the reunion is now a substantiated fact? I read most of this interview with Copeland (foul-mouth warning) and checked out some rah-rah blogs. Ever since the Pistols did their "Filthy Lucre" tour I can't help thinking about the $$$ aspect. Missing high-notes notwithstanding, the paycheck from a reunion tour would buy plenty of high-fiber Rice Krispies, Sumo wrestlers encounters, etc. for everyone, plus there'd be enough left over for Sharpy markers so Copeland can write swear words on his drum-heads.

Thinker or stinker? Polemicist or polecat?

Maybe Kathleen or Diane will remember Damon "the Thinker" Linker's short lived blog for his Theocons book. I'll never forget my disappointment when I realized that he took it down. The kitchen gets hot, what can I say. And I was so ready to, ummm, obsess-o-stalk him. (spelling?)

Well, check out a good exposé of his obscenely bad reasoning here by Lowell Brown. It turns out that the Thinker is branching out and attacking Mormons now, but only the Republican ones, which the Thinker readily admits. Here's a snippet from Lowell B:

So Linker admits that his is a partisan attack, but justifies it because he is on the side of the angels (only figuratively speaking, of course), also known as left-wing Democrats. One problem with his response is that every objection to a Mormon President that he raised in his article, based on the tenets and practices of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and especially his objection to the Mormon belief that the President of the LDS Church is a prophet, would apply equally to a devout Mormon of the political left. If the Church President could prophesy as arbitrarily as Mr. Linker seems to believe, he could just as easily reveal a prophecy calling for the institution of a socialist welfare state as he could one opposing gay marriage.

Or perhaps Mr. Linker's point is that liberal Democratic Mormons don't really in their hearts of hearts believe in all that silly religious stuff, and therefore won't muck up our laws with it. That would certainly be an offensive affront to Senator Reid. Nonetheless, that very possibly is what Mr. Linker thinks, because his response in The New Republic echoes the theme that underlies his career as a political pundit.

Where's Chavez when you need him? He could tell us which sulfurous compound this reasoning smelled like. And how 'bout that black t-shirt? Dude, that's so dark and ominous.... Why don't you lighten it up a little with this one?

I love how Brown, who calls himself "the Hedgehog" wraps it up:

Linker is clearly a polemicist more than a thinker, which helps explain his rather embarrassing reasoning. One glaring example: As Ralph notes, Linker's basis for justifying the attack on Romney is that religious conservatives "bring . . . their faith with them into the public square." Excuse me, but like just about every Mormon candidate for public office I have ever known, Mitt Romney never mentions his faith in public; others do that for him, and unceasingly. The irony in Linker's fuzzy thinking is delicious, but it doesn't make his argument any less silly.