Global Warming Lunacists Face "Uphill Battle"

The global warming talks start off with an appeal to Ixchel, a Mayan moon goddess. Excerpt:

Christiana Figueres, executive secretary of the U.N. Framework Convention on Climate Change, invoked the ancient jaguar goddess Ixchel in her opening statement to delegates gathered in Cancun, Mexico, noting that Ixchel was not only goddess of the moon, but also "the goddess of reason, creativity and weaving. May she inspire you -- because today, you are gathered in Cancun to weave together the elements of a solid response to climate change, using both reason and creativity as your tools."

She called for "a balanced outcome" which would marry financial and emissions commitments from industrialized countries aimed at combating climate change with "the understanding of fairness that will guide long-term mitigation efforts."

"Excellencies, the goddess Ixchel would probably tell you that a tapestry is the result of the skillful interlacing of many threads," said Figueres, who hails from Costa Rica and started her greetings in Spanish before switching to English. "I am convinced that 20 years from now, we will admire the policy tapestry that you have woven together and think back fondly to Cancun and the inspiration of Ixchel."

Ixchel is also the goddess of spreadsheet software and displaying one's buttocks. Strikes me as the Saint Jude of the pagan world. Seriously, maybe she can use her divine feminine charms to get the mean old sun god to cool down a tad. But I'm not going to suggest that to her. I've heard they have a complicated history, and my guess is they had a "falling out" a few million years ago.

Meanwhile, I've collected a number of spare nails I've found around my garage and will be donating them to be used on the coffin for the UN's credibility on all things related to climate change.