Calling Asgard

Chris Johnson explains why a white Bosnian guy was killed by juveniles with hammers who just so happened to be black and Hispanic: lack of hammer control laws.

Me, I blame Missouri’s inexcusably-nonexistent hammer control laws.  There are no database checks, no waiting periods, nothing.  If any of you ever wanted to buy a hammer, all you’d have to do is to fly into Missouri, visit a hardware store and take your hammer home with you.  And since Missouri also doesn’t have any concealed hammer carry laws, you can carry your hammer anywhere around here that you care to go.

You have a bunch of black kids and a Hispanic kid who just happened to have hammers on them and who just happened to beat a white Bosnian to death with those hammers which they just happened to have on them.  Yeah, I can’t see any racial motivation whatsoever in this attack.  Racist.

I blame the parents for leaving hammers around in the house and the whole cult which has grown up around hammers: M. C. Hammer, Thor, Home Improvement, etc. When I was young there were guys that wanted to be those dudes in the Craftsmen ads.

And things are worse now. People are putting those toy Thor hammers in Easter Baskets, mixing violence with Easter once again! These conservatives have taken over and refuse to force Home Depot and Lowe's to lock up their hammers, do background checks on people wearing wife-beater shirts or even impose simple age restrictions.

And don't tell me that these people will just use crowbars if we restrict hammer purchases. That's crazy talk.