God's Badass Creatures
Start the day off with a nature video.
Of course if that was your bird, you might overreact.
The funny thing to me is that in the book, Rod relates a story about flipping out when one of his relatives drowned a bunch of cats owned by one of his crazy cat-lady aunts. He shows up at the mean relative's house furious with righteous anger. This cat is probably a descendant of his aunt's brood, possibly inbred. But still possessing that learned Dreherian taste for the French delicacy of raw chicken head.
Pauli,
ReplyDeleteScrutiny by the jury reveals more ugliness and the unnecessary heartbreak of a little girl at the capricious hands of her urban hipster mother.
Item 1 - History reminds us that Julie Dreher is the urban chicken expert in the family, having previously built and maintained the Dreher coops for some time in...Dallas?, over that period also having consulted and exchanged tips with other urban chicken experts.
Item 2 - The post comments reveal that the cat was able to kill the chick because it stuck its head through the wire, that is, wire with openings too large.
Conclusion: Urban chicken expert Julie Dreher knew or should have known from long experience and conversations with other hobbyists that the little girl's 3 chicks weren't safe in the coop as it had been built, but she proceeded cavalierly anyway because the Dreher's would have their urban chickens and the world would simply have to conform itself to their whims.
The cat is hereby acquitted.
Let us also pray that this unnecessary psychological trauma at the carefree hands of her parents doesn't overly scar little Nora Dreher or lead her into any unwanted outcomes as an adult.
Keith
Two comments:
ReplyDelete1) For those not from these parts, urban chickens are very very much the hipster thing to do in the "more authentic" neighborhoods of Dallas. But we hear that some of the neighbors have moved from clucking to squawking in their disapproval of neighborhood chickens. (Time to Unleash the Cats of War!!)
2) I would have thought that the Crunchy Hipster Drehers would have free range chickens, rather than keeping them in a coop. Coops are what Walmart people use.
The first three letters of the word Catholic ....
ReplyDeleteOh, well... at least the chicken will taste like chicken. No doubt young Nora Dreher will opt for the organic PBJ.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of her poor choice of mate, Mrs Dreher deserves our sympathy.
ReplyDeleteLook at her lot in life.
She is married to a man-child who lies in bed like an invalid except when (about once a month) he abandons her and his children to fly around the world for some idealistic reason.
She however is stuck wherever his whims have left them because he believes so firmly in his vocation which means he has to do what he wants, when he wants.
He is just a terrible husband and she seems to tolerate it all with good humor.
She is married to a man-child who lies in bed like an invalid....
ReplyDeleteIs this really so?
Because I make a point of not reading his dreck, I truly had no idea.
All I can say is...Lord have mercy.
Eh, I have my doubts as to just how severe it is. Because I know whenever I'm home with the flu or food poisoning, I'd never be able to churn out a half-dozen blogs posts a day like Dreher the supposed mono-invalid can.
DeleteI wouldn't rule out some level of somatoform disorder.
-The Man From K Street
Ohhhhhh...mono. That's right; I'd forgotten. I thought SVS meant he just lay in bed for the heck of it.
DeleteHow long does mono last? I thought college kids usually got over it in a month or two.
We get long blog posts from him about the most minute details of his life, including what he has for lunch. But I don't recall seeing one about anything that he does, other than consume. If he were out back building a chair, or shooting a gun, or playing a guitar, you know we'd hear about it.
DeleteAnd he and his written output would be healthier for it.
P.S. My understanding is that once one has had mono, it can reoccur once in awhile later in life.
He has been on the invalid track for years. Doesn't anyone else remember when he had a healer man who used quantum physics to heal him while talking to Mrs Dreher(unbeknowst to his rodness).
DeleteThe guy is a classic hypochondriac.
Ray as Miss Hoover from The Simpsons:
DeleteMiss Hoover: You see, class, my lyme disease turned out to be
[spells it on the board] psychosomatic.
Ralph: Does that mean you're crazy?
Student 2: No, that means she was faking it.
Miss Hoover: No, actually, it was a little of both.
-TMFKS
Could it be...?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, though, I hope I don't offend anybody here, but let's go over the facts.
This is a guy whose own tale has him wanting to be the third spinster aunt in the gingerbread house in the woods wearing an apron and baking.
From his earliest Beliefnet days he was always telling the tale of how he had to get drunk to try to approach women. He finally convinced one who was two-thirds his age that he was her dashing prince charming. Now she's an age where her warm flushes aren't a symptom of the change, while he's looking toward 50, weirdly youthful receding Heat Miser hair or not. And I may have already pointed out that she sure has a lot of gray hair for a woman in the prime of her life. Sure, she has a kid with some sort of autistic disorder, but not a really severe one, and she doesn't have to work for a living and she's never known anything but having plenty of money since she's been married.
So my thinking is that something else is going on here. Sure, he probably threw her a get out of having more babies card when he conveniently quit being Catholic, but that was as much a convenience to him: fewer children = more food and wine. But I'm betting it's more than that. I'm thinking that his "symptoms" are more along the line of some sort of increasing male "not tonight dear" headache. So we get to watch the progression as in the prime of her life her marriage to a possibly sexually dysphoric, certainly sexually squeamish man-child with plummeting testosterone gets increasingly written into her graying hair.
Keith
Back in the day, Keith, some in the Dallas, ahem, 'alternative', press began to speculate along very similar lines to yours. Although I think the conclusion they were headed for was somewhat different than hypogonadism...
Delete-The Man From K Street
Well, beards are an important part of his life, aren't they?
DeleteWhat would things look like over time if his wife began to think she was one, too?
Keith
Yeah the spinster aunts with little lord fauntleroy. And this is the guy who left Catholicism because it isn't he-man enough.
DeleteSpeaking of the Rodster hitting the road for Amsterdam. There is this really strange passage in the book about how Ruthie disapproved of vacations to Europe, partly because they were a "rich person thing", and normal good American country people vacationed in Florida. Rod quips that he never got into it with her about how he could vacation cheaper in Europe than in Florida, and I thought "Of course you didn't because it isn't true." I mean, honestly, airfare to Europe vs. driving the gang from Louisiana to Florida? Or even flying... I just checked--I can fly from Cleveland to Florida for $300, whereas a round-trip ticket to Amsterdam? $1,800.00 for 1 person.
ReplyDeleteIt must be neat to live in such an alternative universe of your own design. Every idea that crosses your mind to reinforce your beliefs is automatically true.
And miraculously the mono is not derailing his Amsterdam separation tour from his wife.
DeleteKeith
Driving from St. Francisville to Destin FL (and some of the finest beaches anywhere) is one tankful of gas.
DeleteGosh. My older son is heading to Greece in just a few days for a summer study-abroad program. Even with a $2,000 study-abroad scholarship, this junket is costing us a blooming fortune. I am deferring my early retirement to not-so-early retirement as a result.
DeleteWe've been down to Florida several times in recent years -- my dad used to live in Naples -- and, believe me, the cost of visiting Florida pales beside the cost of sending our son to Greece.
But y'all have already made that point. It is so patently obvious as to qualify as "D'uhhh."
So for the price of a ticket to Amsterdam, you could buy a used car which might even have enough gas in it to get you to a beach in Florida.
DeleteOf course maybe you actually want to go to Amsterdam. I've heard they have pretty loose laws regarding certain activities.
Even the Amish can afford to go to Sarasota, FL during the winter to get away from the cold northern winters. Yes, there are Amish "snowbirds."
DeleteIt doesn't do justice to say that money burns a hole in his pocket. It ignites with the thought of ink being applied to the check. As an investor, I've seen that how people handle money says a great deal about how they handle the rest of their lives. When anyone tries to enlighten Rodney about even the most simple ideas of investing, his responses are so ignorant that they are difficult to believe.
DeleteI expect that any saving and investing he does manage follows the maxim "buy high and sell low".
Wait a cotton-pickin' minute...I thought it was well established that the million-dollar advance all went into 529s for Ruthie's kids. Are you insinuating that Our Working Boy pocketed it?
Delete-TMFKS
I doubt it got anywhere near his pocket.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI also doubt he has any idea of what a 529 is. Ruthie's daughters seem likely to face the same fate as Soott's tots.
DeleteSoott?
DeleteOops. I mean Scott. It is an office reference.
DeleteI doubt it got anywhere near his pocket.
DeleteLol.
Wolfed it all right down.
So, will the publishers get ROI?
ROI? I doubt it. Last I checked it is fading on the Amazon charts. I have only picked up the bits here and Ray's quotes but it is a strange book.
DeleteThe dying sister and homecoming are good themes but there are other elements that put the whole project off-kilter. What with the little boy who wants nothing more than to play house with his spinster aunts, the weird public humiliation at puberty, and the odd sibling rivalry that is never resolved. Not really a tear-jerker, feel-good story. And now I find that his own father rejects the whole premise at the end.
The potential market with woman's reading groups is probably out because of his gay marriage stance (his embrace of and by Sullivan notwithstanding.
Also, the reviews in some quality publications have been good but nobody that moves volume. And isn't it curious that there was no jacket blurb from his patron David Brooks or an appearance by the same at the NYC reception. Brooks must consider the book a disappointment and he's a guy that knows something about selling books.
There's something I've been trying to make sense of that may have something to do with what Steve's saying.
DeleteIf you Google Dreher generally you get 3 basic types of returns: his fanboi commenters who blindly repeat what he said, a good double handful or so of other pundit bloggers roughly in his same #3 tier favorably reviewing his book, and maybe 2 sites max panning Dreher at all, Pauli's and that Russian Orthodox lady up in NY or wherever.
But there's clearly much objectively wrong with Dreher and his writing - people here who don't really know each other independently arrive at identical conclusions. So the Google returns, if Dreher were widely known and read, should return something more like a traditional bell curve distribution, with at least a much larger sprinkling of negative commentary and book reviews, no? Except they don't, which seems to me to mean 1 of 2 things, and really only 1. Either someone is scrubbing the negative returns on Dreher, and that's not really possible as much as some paid outfits might want you to think. Or else not very many people very widely spread at all know or care that Dreher even exists, the exceptions skewing the results being his fellow tier pundits for whom an obligatory throwaway good book review is all upside with little downside. For the reasons given above, few if any of those fellow pundits own fans who might actually object to such cheap cynical back scratching of Dreher would even know much or care anything about who he might be, so little downside there.
So...to make back a $1,000,000 advance at lets say $15 a book requires selling 66,666 books. But that average really is probably high so let's say $12, which raises the bar to 83,333 books. Just ain't gonna happen, no way, no how.
Nope, Dreher may sell 500 copies to 500 intensely loyal acolytes worldwide, then maybe 500 more to friends of theirs, then maybe 500 more to friends of theirs. That's 1500 copies. Now, because there is a merciful God, let's just triple that number to 4,500 copies. Now, because Ruthie Leming is also a saint, let's triple it again. That's 13,500 copies sold total of 83,333 needed.
That's just got to intensify Mopey Rod's tragic view of life.
Anybody, feel free to challenge my math, it's just off the cuff.
Keith
Gosh. How do y'all know all these intimate details of Rod's life -- e.g., his financial extravagance? Does he really blog about that stuff? Talk about living out loud. Reality shows are discreet by comparison.
DeleteFinally, all of this makes me see Rod as a tragic figure. I feel sorry for him, and I feel that I should be praying more for him.
If he would just leave my Church the heck alone, I would find him just kind of, well, sad. But he won't leave my Church the heck alone. And his anti-Catholic poison does real damage. Therefore he must be opposed. (Several people here have already made this point. I agree.)
Keith, there is definitely some management of search results going on, as well as content. These comments might go best under my newest post from today. But suffice to say you have to remember than the volume of sheer hits and page-views of his own published material is going to far outweigh the meager amount of views of this blog and its criticisms.
DeleteThese days, an advance is really just a sunk cost by the publisher: there's no expectation that the author is going to return any monies if the book fails to take off. LWoRL's publisher was just betting on the come that it would get an Oprah endorsement or something similar that would get it Dan Brown-like numbers, thus getting Ray a chunk of change to keep him from suing while the accountants crunched the royalty stream and set up future payments.
DeleteSo regardless of how soon the book hits the remainder bins, Dreher's got a million bucks to play with. Well, after Uncle Sam takes his cut, he has 600K or so. Oh, and the agent takes 10% or so, down to a half-mil. If he has it invested well, he might be making 10% on that, but I doubt it.
-TMFKS
Couldn't he have managed the money better than you describe? I'm incorporated, and if I ever get a windfall like that I realize that it would be impossible to avoid income/gains taxes altogether, but there are ways to avoid a great deal. For one thing, if you make both you and your wife employees of the corp you can set up 401K funds for both of you and contribute a large amount into them. Plus you can set them up so that you can borrow from the funds, so you have a lot of access still to any cash. And there are some other tricks he could pull. I really don't expect that Rod has burned it all so quickly. Of course I know a guy who basically went through a $90,000.00 severance payout in about 3 months. So I'm not doubting the possibility.
DeletePauli & TMFKS,
DeleteI guess my point was that, even though we don't know the actual sales numbers, I think we have other ways of approximating the probability that, first, anyone at large will even know there's a Rod Dreher or a book and then second whether anyone will actually buy it. I'm concluding that we're probably looking through a magnifier into a very tiny segment of Dreher loyalists and people who know of his infamy, beyond which endless empty wastelands stretch to every horizon.
Yeah, I know the advance is Dreher's to keep, my comment was more a calculation of the likelihood of there being any future books published by anyone other than Dreher himself. Based on my conclusion that Dreher doesn't really even register much in the wide world at large, I think the second option of TMFKS's earlier analysis of his professional fate after TLWORL is probably already in play.
Keith
Given the numbers that Keith surmised above, I can't possibly imagine that the advance was $1M as previously rumored. Obama only got $500k as an advance (albeit on a children's book), and he's a sitting president for Pete's sake.
DeleteAnd you gotta figure that Hillary's book would have more than 8x the return of Rod Dreher's, wouldn't you?
In any case, it sounds like Dreher shouldn't borrow too much against future royalties past the advance amount. Or, rather, banks shouldn't lend too much against those royalties.
I don't know much about NY publishing practices, but I do know there are many possible meanings to the term "$1 million advance". Dreher was happy to have people think he was getting a million bucks (before taxes), but there are all sorts of conditions that can be placed on these things, for example minimum amount of sales in a given period of time, percentage on any possible film deals included just in case they materialize, etc. But if the author gets to crow about a "million dollar advance" that just adds to the hype, and all pre-book hype is good. And rod himself said he tailored this to the View crowd -- this was a mass market play, nothing more. I doubt the publishers risked $1 mill up front.
DeleteI can buy the million OK but 10% to his agent is pretty standard and I'm no expert but with LA having a 6% take on all income over 50K, I don't see how he gets by with less than 25% tax.
DeleteSo we're left with 675K. He's promised to fund college for Ruthie's 3 daughters. That's at least 200K. Now we're down to 475K. A nice chunk of change but hardly retirement material. Using standard retirement calculations that's 19K/yr.
Now TMFKS, 10% return was pretty easy in the last couple of years but that is a pretty steep goal going forward especially when fixed income isn't returning squat. Since Our Working Boy tends toward the mean regarding the Fear/Greed axis, I don't see much potential for high performance. He'll have to use a professional money manager and that'll be 2% off the top if he doesn't get clipped.
If you have a secret for getting 10% yearly, let me know and I'll retire tomorrow.
And this doesn't even take into account funding college for his three and his expensive tastes in food, wine, travel and gadgets.
I think Kathleen has a point. I was thinking to myself there's no way a publishing house is just going to give away the farm to an relatively unknown author. He's obviously able to finish a book, he has an agent working for him, so he scored with his pitch.
DeleteMy theory is that since this is some sort of new imprint they basically have him working for them, cross-marketing, etc. I can easily imagine a contract stuffed with a bunch of stipulations. Plus they need titles, so they sweetened the deal. Start-up expenditures.
Who knows if I'm right, it just would go along with my experience and the classic scene in the Muppet Movie where Orson Welles's character offers Kermit a "standard rich and famous contract." They blow it on a dingy old theater with an audience consisting mostly of chickens and hecklers. So it couldn't have been all that great.
SVS, tell you what: you tell me how the tax bite on a one-time million-dollar windfall will only be 25%, and I'll gladly tell you the secret of a 10% annual return. :)
DeleteMy guess is even ~475K would not be left alone as a retirement nest egg. You just know he's going to tap into capital. Eventually, since Paw and Maw aren't going to kick off immediately, he'll be buying a house and stop renting--but it won't be in cheap-land St. F! Mid-2014 at the latest he'll be out of there, probably to a more expensive coastal area. 100K for a down payment right there.
Edumacashun for the three kids will sap $$$ even before college comes around. They'll tire of homeschooling, and private school for Very Special ASD boys won't come cheap. Plus, in addition to travel and food/beverage tabs, don't forget Carol Brady needs her housecleaning service.
-TMFKS
OK, dumb question: Why is he going to Amsterdam? And why is he NOT taking the wife and kids? My kids would hate me forever if I didn't take them along on a trip like that!
ReplyDeletePancakes. Well, that and an acquaintance of his who got back in touch is in the terminal stage of her cancer. But sure as the sun rises in the eats, Ray has to add something he intends to stuff in his gullet.
Delete-TMFKS
Okay, "the sun rises in the eats" is good.
DeleteDiane,
DeleteI can understand not taking the kids because of their ages and so soon after their recent month long indulgence in Paris. But why not at least take his wife as a treat reward, just because?
Well, after that million dollar advance, there was that initial week's trip taking his niece to Paris so he could eat. Then there was that month long home schooling eating trip with the whole family. So adding his wife to this ticket might just tip him into bankruptcy, or at least displace more eating. Or not.
Well, she home schools, so that schedule can't be changed - not.
Okay, well, if she went, who would there be in St. Francisville to look after the kids except for his mother and father, his niece Hannah, all his other relatives, and all other babysitters for hire? Absolutely no one.
Nope, either Mrs. Dreher just despises springtime European jaunts to Amsterdam, or there's another reason - like a periodic separation of convenience.
Keith
Dang! You know what I just remembered? I went on 2 trips recently and didn't blog about it. They weren't to Europe, but even so... how selfish of me not to share the experience with all y'all!
DeleteHeh. How very European of them. I wonder which of them has to feign ignorance more.
DeleteHope the Missus gets to hit the local Zydeco juke joint a couple times this week.
The Mrs. can't go along to Europe -- someone has to stay home to guard the chickens from roving cats. It simply wouldn't do to come home to two more headless chickens in the coop.
DeleteNor would it do to leave the Dreher youngsters with the indigenous natives of St. Francisville. Who knows what sort of unapproved things (and fun!) that Paw, Maw, and the kinfolk might expose them to.
Let's be charitable! Maybe the Amsterdam-ian climate is especially beneficial for mono. All those bicycles, canal boats and "cafes" might be just the ticket.
DeleteHey, did you know the Netherlands was the first country to recognize same sex marriage?
Kathleen,
DeleteWell, at least as Rod has observed Alasdair MacIntyre observing, there's a certain cultural fatalism driving everyone to either conservative progressivism, progressive progressivism, or radical progressivism, a handy my little stalking pony trial balloon which seems really coincidentally exactly like the cultural fatalism which earlier allowed Rod to accept gay marriage as a done deal, except that this now allows Rod more broadly to accept the progressivism of TAC, the Netherlands, Andrew Sullivan (if blackmail hasn't already) and pretty much anything else he finds tasty, useful or necessary as a done deal too. So with respect to Rod and his "penetrating intellect" about whichever it really is, postmodern alienation or postprandial cordials, this cultural fatalism really leaves us with only one remaining universal question: what difference, at this point, does it make?
But, come to think of it now, I think Pik already pointed out this coincidental convenience in far less words.
Keith
What keith said!
DeleteSkimming through the comments over there causes one phrase to form in my brain: Grumpy Conservatives.
DeleteRod doesn't think Newt G. is conservative. So, he agrees with Ann Coulter. Wow. (What book is she on now? I think they are all best-sellers....)
Gebroken rug kanaal got us good, don't it?
Delete-TMFKS
Not sure that either "grumpy" or "conservative" come to mind when I scan the combox over at TAC.
DeleteI'd say more whiny than grumpy. And to the extent they are conservative, I think that means they are conservative relative to others in the academic/literary/metrosexual/whatever bubbles in which they live, but certainly not in any meaningful sense to the rest of us. Remember that their poster boy is Jon Huntsman, and their publisher is "A Conservative for Obama".
Yet Newt is not a conservative. Go figure.
P.S. You want a grumpy conservative? I'm a grumpy conservative.
One problem is that they don't use the word "conservative" as it's used in the common parlance. Their conservatism may be more authentic, it might be more European, and it might be what they want it to be in America, but it's not American Conservatism.
DeleteAmerican Conservatism doesn't fit their ideological bent. The main founder of TAC is Pat Buchanan who, although he has some of the standard beliefs of "paleo-conservatism" (non-interventionism, anti-free-trade, etc.), isn't nearly as unfriendly to "mainstream conservatives" and certainly would not have endorsed or even voted for Obama for President. One might even argue that he has become more mainstream in recent years, whereas the current TAC writers are spinning more wildly off into navel-gazing beyondist la-la land.
Pik, I couldn't click your link for some reason. I assume you were linking to Grumpy Cat, right? That's the first thing I think of these days when I see / hear the word "Grumpy." Tardar Rules!
DeleteActually, Diane, I didn't mean for the "I'm" to be a link -- I just meant to bold and italicize it, but it came out that way.
DeleteBut you made me look for Grumpy Cats. Perfect!
In the anthropomorphizing of pets, it is sort of funny that cats appear to be frowning and dogs smiling. Every once in a while a cat will grimace which is a funny expression, not quite a smile. Cats are stoics, dogs are epicureans. Maybe....
DeleteMr. Spock always struck me as a cat whereas Capt. Kirk is definitely a dog, humping everything in sight....
LOL!!!! My hubby's been watching old Fugitive episodes on MeTV. I commented the other night, "Gee whiz, the Fugitive has a new girl in every episode. Reminds me of Captain Kirk."
DeleteYep, he's a dog, all right.
OK, everybody, I've got to go to the post office. But before I go, I'm going to eat some leftover pork ribs and green beans heated up in the microwave, plus half a glass of milk. I just thought I should inform everybody about that.
ReplyDeleteLMBO.
DeleteSay...isn't that what Twitter is for?
We expect a picture.
DeleteOK. Tomorrow I'll treat you to a View From My Table.
DeleteI think his trip to Europe will be for shows to sell his book on. Case in point, Larry King who is hosting his show in Russia.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/larry-king-announces-new-show-rt_731808.html
Jonathan Carpenter
BTW, off topic, but just in case anyone thought I was making these critters up. I bet their more natural habitat is vacationing alone in Amsterdam.
ReplyDeleteKeith
Wow. Upthread we were mentioning Hillary's $8M advance--National Enquirer is reporting that her memoirs will disclose her bisexuality. (N.B. NE is journalism--they just have the honesty to admit they pay their sources)
DeleteNow we all figure that, prior to being, ahem, outed, Ray was saving his Orthodoxy conversion news to coincide with the paperback version of his previous tome. Could some similarly big revelation be in the cards as a last-ditch sales move for the paperback of LWoRL?
-TMFKS
I think he is going to have some mono-induced memory lapse, get amnesia and disappear. Like on every soap opera that ever existed. Now THAT would boost sales.
ReplyDeleteI meant to put "get amnesia" in quotes thusly
DeleteNo, the true soap opera development would be the appearance of Rod's EVIL TWIN!
DeleteOh, right:
ReplyDeleteRod's Evil Twin celebrating CorkyFest
You can tell it's the Evil Twin because the head spike is silver, not black.
Keith