Sunday, March 23, 2014

Keith's Dead Pool

So, as you may or may not remember, Crank took a pretty good chunk out of my good typing hand seeing as how he might have been a little envious that I live a richer life than he does plus I was trying to get to the book I got at a garage sale so that we could continue our together reading together in order to build interest in my book proposal for my proposed book on certain multi-level marketing opportunities in newly emerging nations. Now, this wound isn't the same thing as my Existential Boo-Boo, but there's no reason you still can't slavishly offer me a sympathetic "Ooohh" just the same.

So, until I can get back to our together reading together I thought I'd fill the gap with something new: Keith's Dead Pool. Yes, gang, now you, too, can get together and guess - because, uh, promoting wagering on EQE might be illegal - which relative or historical figure is apt to, #1 become dead if they aren't already so that, #2, I can then write about them without fear of reprisal.

Okay, gang, got those guessing caps on? Good! Now, go, guess, go!

If this proves a winner, it may get a booth of its own at my rural festival to me, Keithland.


  1. Don't forget reason #3 for the pool: Dreher doesn't like to wait for a corpse to reach room temperature before slamming the dead posthumously, cf: his treatment of Father Neuhaus. So a little pre-mortem prep is advantageous.

    1. [NFK - Time is love (bottom), Kathleen. Those tender, profound words resonate within me tonight, when I look over on the other side of my couch and see my sweet baby Crank, and think about how much it meant to him that I said no to myself and my desire to spend the afternoon following March Madness, and instead gave him an hour and a half of my afternoon today thumping him on the ear every time he closed his eyes in order to provide him with a loving lesson in who's the boss. That and the time I give you now to drink in the fullness of my preciousness while explaining to me exactly who Father Neuhaus is - KH]

  2. It seems to me that having successfully exploited his sister's death, the Working Boy could simply move down the line in the cemetery and pick the next relative there. Perhaps a cousin, or a grandparent will be the next target for his self-aggrandizing drivel. Why should he wait for the next death when he has so many relatives who have conveniently shuffled off this mortal coil?

  3. Thanks, Pauli. I wasn't under the impression that Dreher's thumping of the safely dead was anything other than a congenital defect of course. Which means, for his sake, there better not be such a thing as ghosts.