The crippling effects of my Existential Boo-Boo
Here on the anniversary of my discovery of how useful my Existential Boo-Boo could be to my crowd shaping plans, I thought I should give you, my mindlessly sympathetic toadies, a rare intimate glimpse of me suffering one of my opportunistic bouts of EBB.
You can plainly see from the empty prescription containers that, even with the quantities of medicine I must consume to keep the Boo-Boo primed to strike when a surge of mass sympathy might serve me best, I can still suffer terribly and unexpectedly from vertigo, disequilibrium, nausea, vomiting, and, worst of all, kathisophobia, the dreadful fear of suddenly being attacked by an aluminum folding chair.
There, but for the grace of me, go you. Have you heard about my book proposal proposing to write a book on certain multi-level marketing opportunities in newly emerging nations? Have you pre-ordered your soon to be proposed copy?
Knowing that irrevocable payment has been made toward the purchase of my soon to be proposed book would go a long way to relieving the terrible stress caused by the anxiety of not knowing, stress which the EBB virus exploits at every opportunity to have its diabolical way with me.
Please pre-order your copy today so that we all may quest into the unknown together, as brother and way younger, reverentially servile little brothers and sisters.
If anyone out there happens to have a stuffed toy replica of the the EBB virus I can hold up in an extreme closeup selfie to utilize as a branding meme in order to even more intensely focus attention on me and my status as helpless victim to be subsidized by you, my target audience, that would be cool, too.
LOL!! Is there a specific Dreher Post that this alludes to? If so, it must be priceless.
ReplyDeleteOf course there are many. But this one from yesterday is especially precious. It makes me want to be in St. Francisville with Dreher on Mike Tyson's birthday.
DeleteEwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
DeleteDiane, it occurred to me that that face is the last thing the victim sees before a new little Dreher is conceived.
DeleteKeith
OK, rereading Keith's post in the light of its Dreherrhian inspiration....I thought it was funny before; now I think it's hilarious. Genuinely laughing out loud.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I skimmed over Keith's last paragraph the first time. Now that I re-read it, I'm laughing out loud along with you.
DeleteLong time listener, first time caller, here...was banned from Dreherville when I pointed out that he was being ridiculous and got a bunch of flustered, hand-flapping NFRs.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is how he plans to sell this silly Dante book when even his fanboys don't comment on (or, I assume, read) his longwinded rambles about Purgatorio? There's like 10 comments on those posts, as opposed to 100-some on his other posts.
[NFK - Käthe, have you heard about my proposed book on certain multi-level marketing opportunities in newly emerging nations? (You can pre-order it, btw. Don't delay.)
DeleteI'm thinking that my upcoming book is the ace in the hole Dreher's counting on to move the Dante book through aggressive babushka networks he plans to create in Transnistria.
What else is there?. Okay, pot luck suppers, there's that. - KH]
It seems his random keyclicks regarding Canto 19 and 20 have a staggering 8 comments between them. Looks like your book sharing is doing much better, Keith. Good job!
DeleteDreher's up to Canto 20 already? Of course, he's reading at the pace of someone without a real job, and whose spouse takes does everything else in his household that needs doing, while he gets to sit in the corner by the window reading. It's pretty hard for many in his readership to keep up with that pace.
DeleteGiven the poor number of comments he gets on those posts, I doubt that most of his readers give a rat's hindquarters about his pontifications on Dante. I see he found some red meat to toss before the followers later in the day, boosting his page hits back into more profitable numbers.
DeleteSteve Sailer is Dreher's go-to penile implant for those times he needs to get it up conservatively and blueberry cobbler just doesn't have the same thrust.
DeleteKeith
Note his afternoon kvetch about how poorly conservative book publishing is doing. Perhaps he sees the handwriting on the wall and is setting expectations low so when his book is seen on clearance tables everywhere for $1/copy he has a convenient scapegoat.
ReplyDelete(BTW...fellow exile from Dreher here)
I just assumed that “conservative book” meant “talk radio in print,” and therefore not worth paying attention to. In fact, I’ve gotten to the point where if a book is marketed as “conservative,” I assume it’s an ideological screed that can be safely ignored.
DeleteOoooohhh! Someone just gave Jonah Goldberg a vicious Snap! and a twirl.
And so, with a flourish, Dreher turns his back on promoting himself as a conservative and takes the full Monte plunge into "What They Don't Want You to Know About Dante"
Keith
And then there is this, in which the Working Boy's better (and more productive) half provides corrects him once again.
ReplyDeleteThe ad in question is here. The Plato of Picayune has become so gullible that he will literally buy anything that confirms his preconceived notions.
Confirmation bias...you got it!
I'm going out on a limb here. It is currently 12:13 PM CDT on March 25. The Working Boy has not had a post that brought a decent amount of comments for a while now, maybe 2 or 3 days.
ReplyDeleteI'd say we're due for another of his fence-sitting blathers about same-sex marriage. He needs hits, and that is a reliable hit producer for him.
Look for it in the next 2-3 hours.
Today Dreher posted this letter from an Orthodox nun to an imaginary convert warning him that he should not convert to Orthodoxy to get away from the evils in his own denomination, because Orthodoxy has just as many evils and hypocrisies of any other Christian church.
ReplyDeleteThe letter has nothing objectionable that I can see, but it's a bit rich for Dreher to be the one to post it considering he apostatized from Catholicism after an emotional meltdown.
Irony thy name is Dreher!
ReplyDeleteJonathan Carpenter
One good thing about the Dante book - the only good thing - is that at least the world won't be subjected to the threatened novel by someone who, by his own admission, lacks the depth of attention and imagination even to read one all the way through, not even Anna Karenina, among the greatest novels ever written, which he tried and failed to read. It's no surprise that his Walker Percy festival is all about bourbon and crawfish, since it's doubtful that he's ever read one of Percy's novels to the end. I suspect that's likely also the case with A Confederacy of Dunces, from which he purloined the title "Your Working Boy."
ReplyDelete