"Gruntly started it."

I found this funny. I read all the stuff out there about millennial behavior so I can better anticipate bad behavior on the part of my kids. (For example.)

But this is my favorite part. We've all known a Gruntly:

My old pal Gruntly, who never did like to talk on the phone, always used his answering machine to screen calls. When I used to call, saying, "Hello! Helloooo!," I knew Gruntly was sitting in a chair, eating Doritos and watching CNN. The only time his phone was ever picked up was when his wife was home.

And though Gruntly never answered the phone at his house, he hung up on my answering machine every time he called. I know this because I was one of the first to purchase Caller ID when it became available in the '90s.

Truth be told, I was shocked to learn how many people had been calling and hanging up on my machine when I wasn't home - and I was finally able to prove that Gruntly was one of the callers. I called him at work one day - he has to answer his work phone - and confronted him.

Purcell: You called last night?

Gruntly: No.

Purcell: And the night before?

Gruntly: No.

Purcell: Aha!

I gleefully presented my high-tech evidence, while he surely squirmed in his office chair. I admit it is a little creepy to have this sort of power over your friends, but Gruntly started it.

I remember back in 1993 there was a guy at a corporate office for one of my clients who never picked up his phone. Rumor was that he was never in his cubicle. So I sent him an email with a read receipt and when he opened his email, I got the receipt message and called his office phone. He picked up the phone and I was able to set up a meeting with him. This was before the age of rampant cell-phone use and before people (like me) started just calendaring people with Outlook. Of course now people can get an email anywhere on their smart phone so you have to actively ignore calls.

But the most surprising thing to me was the reaction of a co-worker when I explained how I'd caught the guy at his desk. He was aghast and suggested that what I did was a complete invasion of privacy. I explained that the guy who I called didn't react that way at all. "It's just like I looked through his window, saw him there, and called him." That was another thing. He was in one of these offices which was almost entirely made of glass. Maybe that's why he didn't spend much time in it to begin with? Everyone could see him in there?

But the main takeaway for me is this: I will be sure to leave many voice mail messages for all millennial people in my life. They can think of it as high-tech broccoli; it's good for them.