Caption this photo
I imagine this might be what Helen of Troy's little sister would look like if held for ransom at the court of PeeWee Herman, but that's just me, and because I've enjoyed Mollie Hemingway's writing to date.
Let this be a warning to all: a "selfie" is anything but. It captures everything in its gaping optical maw, Federalist princesses, the defiled corpses of innocent oysters, anything and everything, and yokes them to its agenda of the moment for eternity
But now it's your turn. Write the caption of what this photo is saying to you.
Eew. I might be developing a shellfish allergy just looking at that.
ReplyDeleteI can only elaborate on your warning about selfies: this selfie and the content of the post suggest the amount of wine that he drank with those 4.5 dozen oysters. Remember, kids: no drunk blog posting.
Who is the lady in the picture?
ReplyDeleteMollie Ziegler Hemingway, given her fidelity to duty in the photograph, probably someone you'd want at your back in a knife fight.
DeleteAs her eyes attest, this woman didn't get to the position she occupies now without being able to effortlessly and intuitively sort the various types she would encounter along the way.
DeleteCaption: "Oysters are Rod's beard for his preference for snails."
ReplyDeleteERMAGERD!
ReplyDeleteFERD!
You're not thinking of this, are you?
DeleteSomeone needs to photoshop Dreher's 3 books into the famous ERMAGERD meme. I'd much rather read R. L. Stine at this point.
DeleteThat reminds me: I actually read TLWORL and Amazon-reviewed it. But I don't think I'm going to take one for the team this time. Diane, Pik, Keith -- draw straws. The silly thing already has a bunch of 5-star reviews.
Here's a more realistic review. At least go give it a helpful vote. Anything to make shoppers turn elsewhere is by definition helpful.
I just went to Amazon and did the "Surprise me!" preview. It went to the chapter on Gluttony and, sure enough, it leads off with a tale of his eating oysters in Europe with his poor niece.
DeleteI guess that means that I should gird up my loins and do the job, at least the Kindle version (absent the purty pitchers).
But while my cursor was willing and hovered over "Add to cart", my left-click finger was weak . . .
Caption: On hour 3 of the dinner date, Private Hemmingway blinked TORTURE.
ReplyDeleteAnd another thing. Rod is always mugging for the camera. Mugging is posing, on steroids. Now, I've been guilty of mugging for the camera. I admit that when I went to the Grand Canyon, I did that thing where you spread your arms wide and simulate falling over the rim. Yeah, I did that.
ReplyDeleteBut Rod always mugs. It's always a "Golly gee, isn't this stupid? Take another shot!" look on his snout. This is so annoying I don't have a word for it.
I don't think poor Mollie Hemingway realized when she ordered her first dozen oysters that it would end with some poor nerd online somewhere saying to himself, "Hey, look what kind a chicks that guy gets to hang with and how he can act around them with impunity. I wanna grow up and be a guy just like that! But first I'm gonna take my shirt off and text a pic to that Mary Jane Crabclaws who's always mean to me in class. Boo-ya!".
DeleteCaption -- "Well, at least I know Dreher won't post this on the Internet where his wife can see it."
ReplyDelete