"I'm part of the solution"

Heard that one before. This is hilarious.

Unclogged

Always funny.

Oi, stitch that

"Where hast thou been?"




My mates and I used to sing along with this over and over. Where did the years go? lol

"A real mother of a blow out"

I guess Michelangelo was pretty western, huh.

Well, now the joke really is on you

I'm going to pass out laughing.... help!

My Left Foot (Canine Version)

James Delingpole Deals With the O'Bama Blarney

Painfully funny.

Ah Bejaysus and Begorrah! Oi’ll be swearin’ boi the auld shrine to the Vorgin with the shamrocks growin’ round it next to the hill where Cuchullain slew the Great Leprechaun of Kildare on St Patrick’s Day that Barack Seamus O’Toole Flaherty Joyce O’Bama is the most Irish US president that ever set foot on the Emerald Oisle, so he is, so he is.

Except, when he’s in Africa, of course, when he disappears into the dry ice and re-emerges with a grass skirt and a bone through his nose and declares himself to be Mandingo, Prince of the Bloodline of the Bonga People, Drinker of Cattle Urine, Father of A Thousand Warrior Sons, Keeper of King Solomon’s Mines, Barehanded Slayer of Lions, Undaunted Victim of the Evil Colonial British Empire.

And in the Middle East, where he is Al-Barak Hussein Obama, Protector of the Holy Shrine, Smiter of the Kuffar, Lion of the Desert, Tent-Loving-Aficionado-of-the-Oversweetened-Coffee, Chomper of Sheeps’ Eyeballs, Restorer of the Caliphate.

Etc.

Keep reading it until the end. It's a can of verbal whoop-ass to say the least. Every line hits the target.

Space Aliens land in Vilnius, Lithuania

If I were an alien, I'd be, like, "Screw Palm Beach! We're going to Vilnius!!"

"Guitar George, he knows all the chords"

Did they say "Sultans of Swag"?



Someone will have to develop some sort of powerful vaccine to inject my brain with to make me decide this stuff isn't hilarious.

Please don't ever shut down the Guardian!

This Guardian piece with an ongoing countdown to the Gov't shutdown is priceless. My fave quote is "He may look like a bank manager but Harry Reid has a useful ability to insert a stiletto." Also near the bottom: "As the clock ticks closer to midnight, where is Jack Bauer when America needs him?"

I suppose it shouldn't be all the funny, seeing that Republicans will probably be blamed for it. But it still is humorous to me, somehow. I just hope when everything settles that they push through the Ryan bill somehow and the President is somehow forced to sign it. I.e., I hope he loses.