Wednesday, June 12, 2013

View From My Chair

This was the view from my chair at Panera today. This is not the "view from my table". The "view from my table" would be my bulging eyes and drooling mouth. So I don't know why anyone would want to see that.



So we can see on the right the Spinach Power Salad which is comprised of "Fresh baby spinach, roasted mushrooms and onion blend, diced eggs, applewood-smoked bacon, frizzled onions & smoky Vidalia® onion vinaigrette." On the left is a cup of Low Fat Vegetable Soup with Pesto which allegedly contains "water, tomatoes, yellow wax beans, zucchini, onions, barley [may contain wheat], cauliflower, red bell pepper, Swiss chard, seasoning [modified corn starch, sugar, autolyzed yeast extract, salt, onion powder, garlic powder, natural flavors], tomato concentrate [roasted tomatoes and tomato paste, salt, sugar, natural flavoring, and cilantro], tomato paste, basil), basil pesto (basil, canola oil, water, romano cheese [pasteurized cow's milk, cheese cultures, salt, enzymes, powdered cellulose], extra virgin olive oil, chopped garlic and salt."

I washed it all down with a small plastic cup of water with a lemon and three non-cubic ice cubes. You can see the cup in the background with that cute, black plastic swizzle straw. The food tasted pretty good and cost $8.40.

I know you guys were simply dying to see this. So you're welcome.

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40 comments:

  1. no midday pint of beer? no apple pie?

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  2. Pauli, let me be the first to commend you on eating locally, that is, putting food into your mouth with your own two hardworking hands and chewing and swallowing it yourself as opposed to blindly consuming food which might have been launched ballistically into your mouth from Peru, Saskatoon or God knows where.

    There's as much simple beauty in that traditional, too often forgotten ritual of chewing and swallowing with our own mouths as there obviously is in this picture which frames and commemorates it so well.

    Keith

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    1. Thank you, Keith. Even many conservatives have forgotten this simple sensibility. Panera makes their own bread, and they are all SAINTS for that fact alone....

      (Duh, Pauli, it's a freaking bakery!)

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    2. Y'all are cracking me up. :D

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    3. Well, I don't know about you, Diane, but I think eating locally is important and we all need to commend Pauli for celebrating it.

      For example, my girlfriend and I will be eating locally at Subway or whereever and one of her friends will come up babbling about this or that, and then suddenly her head will snap back like a Pez dispenser and Zizzzt!, a wad of antelope heart tartare or who knows what will come sizzling through the stratosphere from Tannu Tuva or who the eff knows where and then Thonk!, hole-in-one in her gullet. I'm sorry, that just creeps me out every time.

      Again, a big thumbs up to Pauli for celebrating eating locally instead.

      Keith

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    4. Oh my gosh. I needed that. After one of my colleagues blithely wiped out half my copy from an Excel spreadsheet on the server -- and no, I don't have a backup copy :( -- I need all the funnies I can get.

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    5. Seriously, the reason I think that Subway has been such a successful franchise is their bread they make there. They make really good bread. They understand this, and that's why when they expanded their menu some years back the main expansion was in different types of bread.

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  3. Well, I plan to bring many views from many chairs in the days to come. Will we see beer? Maybe on July 4. Will we see pie? Maybe on Thanksgiving.

    Will we see rum flights on Father's Day? That's up to my wife....

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  4. This made me laugh my head off. Pauli, you have a wonderful comic gift.

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  5. May I suggest the Dale Jr. Diet:

    I eat what tastes good.

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  6. Pauli, it's easy to tell whom you are satirizing.

    The other day, I saw this. For me, it was just too much (especially that ridiculous "Ruthie icon" picture). Probably I should not have, but I posted a comment about the direction things are going. Of course, you're don't going to see it since it probably ticked Dreher off. But no matter, it was really meant just for him. Let me just say that it was meant to be friendly advice but with the intent of trying to tell the truth without any vain flattery. But really, Pauli, there are days when Dreher's TLWORL obsessions get to be — how should I describe it? — Creepy? Faux? Disturbing? Irritating?

    I think the poor guy just doesn't realize that if he keeps it up people are only going to get pretty sick of it all. He needs to stop. Otherwise, he's only going to end up shooting himself in the foot, which I think would be a real pity since I still think he has some potential to be a fairly good writer who occasionally has something worth saying.

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    1. Yes. All of the above. Creepy, faux, disturbing and irritating. I think that the people who think the book is good have merely skimmed it, or they've read it uncritically. It contains many subtle distortions of true piety.

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    2. I was just starting to think better of Dreher and then I read "Not a Plaster Saint". Now I know he's serious about the saint thing. Weird and irritating.

      The piece is a massive dose of projection tho (how could he possibly know that Ruthie and Paw came up with the narrative first and then selectively remembered details to support that narrative?).

      And am I supposed to know who Kundera is? (I know, two answers are correct: 1) Yes. 2) No, but I am supposed to be impressed by Dreher referring to him/her by shorthand.)

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    3. I think Dreher might be overestimating his role in his sister's life by deeming himself "the thorn in her side". Having a full life on her own, she probably didn't give him much thought at all. He however was constantly hauling back to Louisiana. All of Dreher's narratives are self-serving, and in my opinion this particular narrative is self-serving in this particular way.

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    4. Now I know he's serious about the saint thing.

      Ohhhhhh, yes. I hate to keep bringing it up because it sounds like it's something that's probably very small that I must be exaggerating. But that is one of the main points of the last part of the book. "Ruthie was a saint! People took their shoes off at her funeral! But then--how could she hate me so much?" It's a manufactured false dilemma and yes, it is very weird and irritating.

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    5. Here you go, kathleen, for another self-serving narrative. With artsy selfie, of course.

      1) The fans find it interesting, of course. (One says "Best blog posting ever!" -- I'm not kidding.)

      2) Gratuitous product placement included. Is it essential that we know the brand names of the bourbon and even the ice? (What is "Sonic ice", anyway? Is it what you get at the bag at 7-11, or is it some foodie thing?)

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    6. "Ruthie was a saint! People took their shoes off at her funeral! But then--how could she hate me so much?" It's a manufactured false dilemma . . . "

      There is an answer to this dilemma, of course. That would be: If someone is a saint and they hate me, there must be something wrong with me that I need to fix.

      I'm guessing that Dreher doesn't come to that conclusion . . .

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    7. Well, to use the purest form of logic:

      Premise 1: A is a Saint.
      Premise 2: A hates B.

      Conclusion: A thinks B is the Devil.

      Of course, it's doubtful that Ruthie really hated Dreher. But remember: Dreher has a tendency to say a thing is good or evil, worthy of his love or his hatred. So if he projects that misdirected absolutism on others, that would explain his consternation about Ruthie's attitude toward him.

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  7. Well said, Oengus. You beat me to it. Moralistic Therapeutic $ainthood marches on, with a movie deal in the making.

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    1. Seems Ray wants Richard Linklater to direct. I'm thinking more like Mike Judge with Pee Wee Herman playing the role of our hero.

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    2. Mike Judge is a good call. He could have that red stapler dude from Office Space play Dreher. Same part, just different obsessions.

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  8. I'm not sure how we're supposed to read a "mint julep or two made with Bulleit and Sonic ice." Bulleit is decent, undistinguished bourbon with a bullshit backstory of a great-great-grandfather who established the family's bourbon legagy, which happened to skip the next four generations. Sonic ice is the chewable ice you get at Sonic fast food restaurants. Both products have a kind of following. Put them together, and I guess you get a lowbrow hip julep. I don't know if we're supposed to think that Rod can really rock the common (but not too common) man's groove, or if he just reflexively mentions brand names in case they play well.

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    1. I've turned into a rum guy myself, top-shelf aged stuff preferred (in moderation of course) and nothing with a pirate on the front. But if I'm going to drink bourbon I guess it would be Maker's Mark straight. Or -- Jim Beam is good, too.

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  9. A lot of folks who know a lot more about bourbon than I do recommend Old Weller Antique for a quality wheated bourbon that you can get for a few dollars less than Maker's Mark (largely because of all the people who say, "Maker's Mark, definitely," whenever the subject comes up).

    And in fact, I'm having a snort of it now, neat, in a Reidel O Viognier/Chardonnay wine glass (which Hansell assures us is the perfect vessel), to wash down a slice of Giant Supermarket brand peach pie and a dollop of Reddi Whip dairy whipped topping.

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    1. Snort away, Tom.

      Hey, that's easy to remember: Reidel Viognier goes with Reddi Vhip.

      Don't forget you can use the plastic pie lid for a frisbee.

      I still say we should all meet somewhere about a year from now. And the best place I can think to meet is the Walker Percy Festival.

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    2. Ain't bourbon great? You can be kinda snooty about brands, and still get out of the store for ~$20/fifth if you watch for sales. Better yet, I can't distinguish much among the non-rotgut brands so there's no downside. (Buffalo Trace is on the bar these days -- tastes good to me.)

      Scotch is not so kind or democratic . . .

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    3. bourbon: try Four Roses, small batch. costs pretty much the same as Maker's Mark, which tastes like diluted syrup, I no like anymore. Bookers if it was a hard day.

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    4. What I say is, if you can afford to drink whiskey, you can afford to drink good whiskey. But yes, you can afford to drink a lot more bourbon than single malt Scotch.

      I still say the Kentucky Bourbon Trail is a better place to meet than Rod's house.

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    5. Oh, is that where the Walker Percy thingy is? At his freaking house?! Still we could get killer footage for our documentary.

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    6. I'm not much of a whiskey drinker and I know it ain't bourbon (being Tenn and not Kentucky) but I still like me a shot of old No 7 now and then.

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    7. Lol. Well, I am partial to Maker's Mark partly because it is made not too far from hubby's hometown. So we've got that Local Thing going on.

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  10. So does anyone know where Rod Dreher's wife is hanging out in Cleveland? I'll run over to wherever the Churchlady Music Workshop is and take a few videos. I guess going to Cleveland is sort of the consolation prize for her since he got to go to the Netherlands. Maybe I'll find her saying "Je t'aime!" to a cancer patient.

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    1. Pretty sure it was this event: http://home.fuse.net/lsander/

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    2. I found a photo on FB of the conference attendees: https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/999742_656683797692961_265570996_n.jpg

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    3. Should have known it would be Parma. There are some beautiful old Orthodox and Byzantine churches down there.

      But, no, I'm not really going to stalk her. I hope she has a great time and gets back before the bourbon is gone.

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    4. Aw too bad...but anyways, the conference ended yesterday.

      Hey, btw, thank you very much for this blog. It's a great comfort to find other people who can't stand Dreher and his logorrhea.

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    5. Thanks, Judge373. Stick around, there's more to come.

      How long have you been hanging out? Are you from St. Francisville? We have a lot of new readers.

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    6. you should know we call it "dreherrea"

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