Friday, March 9, 2007

"Offer it up"

In an alphabetized list of ways to release souls from purgatory, inlaws comes shortly after indulgences. Possibly directly after.

Something to keep in mind. Of course, if you have inlaws it means you are one, too.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

You're sick

You people weighed in on Pauli Poll #3 and announced to the world that you want more stories about bald women.

That's weird. You're sick. Oh, well.

The new survey will help me identify which bald women you are most interested in. I'm an Ellen Ripley fan myself.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Imperfect Contrition Accepted

For admittance into the Eternal Bliss of the Beatific Vision, Almighty God doesn't accept AMEX or Diner's Club. He doesn't even accept Visa or Mastercard.

But he does accept Imperfect Contrition, at least according to the Roman Catholic Church, when accompanied by sacramental confession.

I'm kind of glad he does, too, or I would probably have to say quite literally, "See you in Hell, everybody." Everybody, that is, except a few saints.

Of course He also will take the perfect stuff. If you've got it. Anyone have perfect contrition here? Bueller? Bueller? Padre Pio? St. Mary Magdalene? Bueller?

Feel free to stick the following passage in your "better safe than sorry" file.

Then his lord called him: and said to him: Thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all the debt, because thou besoughtest me: Shouldst not thou then have had compassion also on thy fellow servant, even as I had compassion on thee? And his lord being angry, delivered him to the torturers until he paid all the debt. So also shall my heavenly Father do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts. (Matt 18:32-35)

"Toturers" reminds me: 24's on tomorrow night, dudes!