Spiritual Retard

Possibly appropriate for St. Pat's day, I don't know.

Livin' easy, lovin's hard,
Season ticket on a one-way ride,
Askin' graces, spiritual retard,
Livin' still with too much pride,
Have some reason, have some rhyme,
Ain't much I would rather do
Goin' on, this earthly time,
My friends are gonna be there too..
Yeah...

[Chorus]
I'm on the highway to Purgatory!
On the highway to Purgatory!
Highway to Purgatory!
I'm on the highway to Purgatory!

I guess I'd have to say I often act like a spiritual retard, especially with the whole sloth thing as well as other various and sundry capital sins.

Funny Site: INDEXED

Check out INDEXED for a great funny blog. Here's a sample.



Absolutely true, by the way, about NE Ohio. I've got weather appropriate clothing in my car.

A Real Mother of a Blowout

Somehow to my strange brain this pertains to the whole arguing-about-the-liturgy-thingy. I was playing this in my head on the way to work and I thought, "Dude, that has got to be on youtube by now." And of course, it is.



Amen to NO KANGAROOS. If there is anything that bothers me about Vatican II it's the refusal of the council fathers to explicitly condemn the illicit use of kangaroos in the liturgy. Sure, it's fine for those down-under Catholics, if they must. I'm ambivalent regarding the Mariachi bands as long as they only perform Gregorian chant.

More trivia(lity): I remember in college humanities class I laughed during the showing of The Agony and the Ecstasy when Chuck Heston fell off the scaffolding. A bunch of people turned and stared at me... well, it was funny, wasn't it? Come on, nobody got hurt for real, gee whiz....

But regardless, "mother of a blowout" does kind of describe the Mass in street lingo, kind of Hip Hop for O Sacrum Convivium. What it is, yo.

Pope Releases Apostolic Exhortation

"The Sacrament of Charity", if you need a translation, was first delivered on February 22, and B16 just released the text. Read it all here. I haven't read it yet, skimmed it; pretty much hits all the major aspects and is very easily read. Points to note:

• #62 - The Latin Language -- learn it, love it, live it, dude, especially if you're a seminarian.
• #69 - The Location of the Tabernacle. Don't hide the flippin' tabernacle, ya bunch of overpaid modern architects! People coming in for a visit don't need to play hide and seek for 20 minutes.
• #92 - The sanctification of the world and the protection of creation. Sanctify the Cosmos, people. That's a tall order -- I'm still trying to save my own soul.

[Sarcasm and slang is added by me and not in the original document.]

No UFOs?

The Catholic League publishes this breathtaking list of attacks on Christianity over the years, attacks which somehow always come during Lent. I'm disappointed each year that the "Was Jesus a Space Alien?" question does not get more national attention. Well, no actually I'm not. But here's my favorite, from last year:

When Baigent was recently asked where he got the proof that Jesus was alive in A.D. 45, he said he got it from reports about a book he cannot find (we're not making this up!). When asked how he knows the tomb was empty because Jesus needed some R&R, he said, "Unfortunately, in this case, there are no facts." Put differently, the guy is a crook and "Dateline" has been had.

Money, money, money. I don't want anybody to lose their faith, but if you do, give me the pile of money you make as a result and I'll pray for your sorry soul. Deal?

It was a little surprising to me that Jesus's body being eaten by wild dogs kept coming up, appearing amidst the great scholarly work in three of the different years noted. It made me wonder what would happen if you did a news story entitled "Was the Prophet Mohammed eaten by wild dogs?" in Saudi Arabia. Or Denmark, for that matter -- but I wouldn't try that at home as they say....

And for all you people who refuse to believe that I actually found the body of an extra-terrestrial in the woods, I can't help it that the corpse was eaten by wild dogs right out of my pickup truck before the neighborhood scientist could analyze it.

Drivin' Around

Very loud and wet raspberries are in order for Eric Carmen for nailing a mailbox on SOM Center Road while driving drunk in his Lexus SUV on Saturday. The singer was allegedly all by himself when the incident occurred.

"You know my tape deck is blastin', my car's fast, I'm drivin' around, oh yeah..." (from "Drivin' Around" by Eric Carmen, recorded on Fresh, by The Raspberries, 1972)

Ignoring Protests

There is a long tradition of ignoring protests in the Catholic church, from Christ ignoring Judas's protest about the perfume to JPII's going ahead with his historic apology of the sins of church members despite the hand-wringing of many in the Vatican. So it shouldn't surprise anyone if B16 is ignoring a few Cardinals regarding the liturgy, a topic that the current Pope has written volumes on.

My favorite lines from this article:

"This [papal motu proprio] would enable Benedict to ignore opposition from several cardinals." (Or he might be "enabled" simply by the fact that he is the Supreme Pontiff, hello?)

"The Pope's proposal will be cheered by Lefebvre's traditionalist followers." (Or not, if they are in a bad mood or the vestments don't have enough embroidery on the cuffs.)

I have been following this topic with much interest, but not blogging about it. I'm one of those folks who would like to see more of the Latin Mass although I'm not "attached" to it. Most traditionalists don't like my precise view -- the details of which I won't bore you with at this moment -- because I'm admittedly and hopelessly post-modern in my entire approach as a convert and a youngster. I just think the Tridentine liturgy rocks ass, simply put. Enough English already! And "sign of peace"? sign of schmeace.... dust off the missals, men, we're going to do some spiritual warfare.