The Tale of BeoBilly

Tony Esolen On Mythical Candidates

Tony Esolen left an eloquent comment on Deal Hudson's defense of Archbishop Dolan and Bill Donohue which speaks perfectly for nearly all of us informed practicing Catholics. There is really only one choice in any given political race, and that is whether to vote for a Republican or not to vote at all. The comment is about halfway down the page; here's an excerpt:

They are allergic to the full and vibrant interplay of religious faith and public life; they are the ones who would sue, or who would look the other way while someone else sued, if a football coach -- horrors -- should join with his team before a game in prayer;

Want more? They do not believe that the family is PRIOR to the state, and has legitimate rights that the State must recognize; they do not, therefore, believe in free association (see the Boy Scouts again), the freedom upon which the Catholic principle of subsidiarity is based.

I'm a Catholic father and homeschooler, and I think I know my enemies.

But even if I am wrong about this, and I had a choice between voting for your two mythical candidates, I would apply my Principle of the Autobahn. Candidate A is worthless; Candidate B would build the Autobahn and fix the economy and make us all proud of ourselves again and round up innocent people to be incarcerated (and then gassed or starved or shot).

I vote for Candidate A, or I stay home. I will not vote for a Nazi. I will not vote for a pro-abortion candidate, period. That's not single-issue voting. It's a filter, or a block. If you served me a plate of French cuisine with excrement on it, well, I'd decline the honor of the meal; and it would not be single-entree dining, either. You give me two reasonable people with the moral sensibility of the average retriever, and then I'll have a genuine choice. Give me Al Smith and Herbert Hoover, and then I'll have things to think about.

Many people know that the "single-issue voter" accusation is a canard, but Mr. Esolen succinctly explains why the behavior unfairly labeled thus is actually more thoughtful than the "enlightened" liberal approach.

Another thought: I agree partially with those who cast blame at the Republican Party for not doing more when in power to fight legalized abortion. But I can't agree fully, mainly due to one thing: money. When a woman decides to abort, the revenue generated from the procedure lubricates the lobbying gears and helps fund the Democrat machine. If the same woman decides not to, the Republicans make $0. The deck is stacked.

Gideon Decorating the Tree

Gideon is almost four, and I thought this was a fairly good picture. It sure is better than the crap he was drawing 2 years ago.

Al Hirt Java and drunk dude in mini-mart

I love Al Hirt.

Laughable

The espionage community must be absolutely aghast after hearing about the military ban on removable media. They must be shivering in their boots. How will they do their spying stuff without being allowed to possess criminal tools such as removable media? Excerpt:

According to the report, Maj. Gen. Richard Webber, commander of Air Force Network Operations issued a "Cyber Control Order" on Dec. 3 instructing airmen to immediately stop using removable media on the Defense Department's secret network. The other branches of the military have reportedly received similar directives.

The order is a response to the leaking of thousands of classified diplomatic cables and documents to the whistleblower site WikiLeaks, which has come under international scrutiny for publishing the names of military and intelligence informants.

Army Pfc. Bradley Manning, who was arrested in May and charged in connection with the leaks, allegedly downloaded classified materials to a CD disguised as a Lady Gaga album.

This is so laughable. Let's court martial soldiers for having a digital camera in their possession. Digital camera's, as you know, use removable media. Let's go through everyone's CD collection and listen to every disk to make sure it's authentic. Full cavity searches for mini SD cards? We're all in--I'll take the women's line, thanks.

While we're at it, let's also ban guns to stop violent crime. Banning things always works so well.

Bill Donohue: "Stop funding the leisure of rich white people"

It is to LOL. William Donohue once again opens up a can of pure pwnage on the effete elites of the museum industrial complex. Here's the money paragraph:

In a large survey of museum-going households released in April, it was found that they are significantly better educated and affluent than the U.S. population; they are also overwhelmingly white. The time has come, then, to stop funding the leisure of rich white people: all public monies for the arts should cease. Quite frankly, to make the working class pay for the leisure of the rich amounts to class discrimination. In the spirit of social justice, a better case could be made to fund professional wrestling—it's what the working class enjoy.

"[A]ll public monies for the arts should cease." Yes, sir, I second that emotion, if for no other reason than this art sucks shit.

Global Warming Lunacists Face "Uphill Battle"

The global warming talks start off with an appeal to Ixchel, a Mayan moon goddess. Excerpt:

Christiana Figueres, executive secretary of the U.N. Framework Convention on Climate Change, invoked the ancient jaguar goddess Ixchel in her opening statement to delegates gathered in Cancun, Mexico, noting that Ixchel was not only goddess of the moon, but also "the goddess of reason, creativity and weaving. May she inspire you -- because today, you are gathered in Cancun to weave together the elements of a solid response to climate change, using both reason and creativity as your tools."

She called for "a balanced outcome" which would marry financial and emissions commitments from industrialized countries aimed at combating climate change with "the understanding of fairness that will guide long-term mitigation efforts."

"Excellencies, the goddess Ixchel would probably tell you that a tapestry is the result of the skillful interlacing of many threads," said Figueres, who hails from Costa Rica and started her greetings in Spanish before switching to English. "I am convinced that 20 years from now, we will admire the policy tapestry that you have woven together and think back fondly to Cancun and the inspiration of Ixchel."

Ixchel is also the goddess of spreadsheet software and displaying one's buttocks. Strikes me as the Saint Jude of the pagan world. Seriously, maybe she can use her divine feminine charms to get the mean old sun god to cool down a tad. But I'm not going to suggest that to her. I've heard they have a complicated history, and my guess is they had a "falling out" a few million years ago.

Meanwhile, I've collected a number of spare nails I've found around my garage and will be donating them to be used on the coffin for the UN's credibility on all things related to climate change.

Offenbach on a dulcimer

I don't know why, but this is one of the tunes that constantly plays in my head. I'll be sitting at my desk, then suddenly I'm banging things around and can-canning.