My thoughts on the recent Supreme Court rulings

First and foremost, with respect to the first ruling in King v. Burwell, I owe Pik an apology. I had defended Chief Justice Roberts way back when for taking a strategic long view with an eye to setting up Obamacare for the kill later on. But Roberts' arguments in King now clearly show he sees the Court's role as one of providing a legislative rehabilitative salvation for the law rather than ruling on the text of it. That, and getting more Likes on Facebook.

He, at least I think Roberts is the one who made passing reference to this, is right on one point, though. It's fully in the hands of Congress to repeal and/or replace Obamacare as it sees fit. This is entirely as it should be. We shouldn't be hoping SCOTUS will do our difficult work for us any more than we should be hoping Roberts will shoot our dog for us to spare us the unpleasantness of the task. Now the situation is crystal clear: elect a Republican Congress with spine and a Republican President to sign their work into law and handle this whole matter the right way, as the writers of the Constitution intended.

Now, with respect to today's opinion in Obergefell there is one enormous question that immediately eclipses everything else: who will be the third and greatest fool in the Greater Fool Theory of Publishing to sign up to lose money on Rod Dreher's BO book? Dreher has been positively leaving a trail of bodily fluids the last several days in eager anticipation of today's ruling coming down as it did, because what's bad for Christian conservatives is good for anyone wanting to push a snake oil cure for what just hit them.

Aside from some unknown publisher's as yet unbooked losses, though, let's work through what today's Obergefell ruling really means.

First, if you're Rod Dreher or Ace at AOSHQ and you're reprising Bill Paxton's "Game over, man!" (NSFW) scene from Aliens, here's what's really going through your head: "Okay, I'm bent over this stump, I've dropped my pants, oh, my, what will happen to me next? Will they use a lube? Oh, it would be so much more terrible if they didn't use a lube, wouldn't it? It would! It would! I can hardly wait!"

Since I myself am not stump broke like Rod Dreher, here is, alternatively, what is going through my head.

A cohabitation license issued by the State must be available to all comers in order not to discriminate, which carries this interesting little clusterbomb implicit within it. Nothing in Obergefell mandates for two-person marriages or against triad or larger unions, plus, this is no longer the States' problem, not even the Feds' - it effectively rebounds right back to SCOTUS as soon as it arises.

Whether you wish to call two guys cohabiting for butt sex marriage or a dog show remains entirely up to you. If you whine, "but they'll make me call it marriage!", see stump broke, above.

If your church recognizes gay unions, consider getting another church that does not. Those that do not do so voluntarily can not and will not be forced to do so.

As for federal funding, if you can be bribed, please send your name and the particular favors, skills, goods, or elite access you are willing to barter for money to Keith care of EQE so that I may consider whether I have a need to buy you and use you for my own ends in some capacity.

In the meantime, the betting pool is now open on the publisher even more stupid than Judith Regan turned out to be.

Remember the future?

While others are retreating to cozy corners to masturbate psychologically and rhetorically, conservatives might be interested in at least two things that will decide how their lives will be shaped if they defer on making those decisions themselves instead.

Near term, King v. Burwell goes to oral argument before SCOTUS March 4 - 48 hours from now. If King wins, Obamacare immediately becomes a failed state, like Libya and Somalia. That structural vacuum will demand filling, and the first and loudest call will be for Republicans to immediately replace what was lost - exactly as it was before.

Doing nothing is not an adult option. However, there are contingency plans in the wings. Legislation to enact the best consensus option had better be ready to drop in June or whenever SCOTUS finally rules, or Republicans can probably expect a growing public PR beating to begin on both legislative and presidential fronts heading toward November, 2016.

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If Republicans don't want to look up unexpectedly one day to find this smiling face lecturing them from behind the presidential seal, it's long past time to get vaccinated. Why Ben Carson has become the alternative boyfriend while the far more intellectually and politically estimable - and electable - Shelby Steele is not being groomed and being made ready for the inevitable ethnographic face off escapes me entirely.

Sooner or later, Republicans are going to be forced to deal a serious presidential alternative to the "old white men" slur, and the time to recognize that is before sooner gets here.