Monday, February 2, 2009

Media Elite in Training

The Snob doesn't want to waste his time snarking on this laughable piece of misplaced snootiness, but I will.

In my journalism class last semester, my professor brought a blog expert in. I revealed my true feelings of Twitter, pretty much speaking for the whole class: what's the point? This man, a professional blogger, kind of flipped out. It's his livelihood, people pay him blah blah...yes yes sir, I understand but really, what's the point? Who needs to know what you are doing every six seconds. In fact, who the hell cares? People are so wrapped up in themselves they believe that other people are truly interested in what they ate for breakfast or what their inner thoughts are in regards to...oh, i don't know...fruitcake or something ridiculous along those lines.

Good use of the strawman fallacy. And thanks for sharing your inner thoughts, Grasshopper, with everyone in your little journalism dojo. You are so obviously not "wrapped up in yourself", are you.

I'm getting anxiety just writing about this right now.

Ha, ha, ha, ha...

I am really not sure why blogs anger me so much.

Ahhhh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

In another class we discussed whether or not shield laws for journalists should protect bloggers. I say no. Journalists have a degree and learn their trade.

Ha, ha, ha... oh! their TRADE he says! Ha, Ha, ha....

I'm spending four years in school and a ton of money to become a journalist and then to group some whiney emo bastard on the internet who has lots of feelings with ME? I don't think so.

HA, HA-HA... he's afraid of getting grouped with amateurs?? OMG Stop, ha, ha you're hurting me!

People can get mad at this, people can say, oh mah gawwwd! bloggers are journalists, too!

ROTFL. Mad? Right―I am soooo furious. [BTW, editing provided for free, courtesy this Philistine blogger.]

Well... let us pray.

Thou art so great, O Journalist. We are but tiny parasitic worms next to thee. And this thy great blog post is like unto Lance Armstrong when he shalt make a visitation upon my humble subsection to pass judgement upon the small tricycles of my children and likewise snort at my $300.00 mountain bike. Or Dustin Hoffman who shalt ridicule the high school play with great seriousness and a straight face. Or the great Reginald Jackson who shalt be consumed with fury by the countless errors committed by the so-called infielders at the T-ball match. Thou hast truly shown us how 'tis done. Forgive us in thy great mercy, and help us to emulate thy money-spending, thy degree-getting and thy professional gravitas. Amen.

But honestly, if this Journaliste ever gets a column in the paper I hope it's 4.25 column inches wide. For you metric system users, that's the width of a sheet of TP.

10 comments:

  1. I'm spending four years in school and a ton of money to become a journalist and then to group some whiney emo bastard on the internet who has lots of feelings with ME?

    Wow. Four whole years?

    As impressive (snicker) as that journalism degree really is (snicker), I'll put my Ph.D. up against it any day.

    Hey, I can match this snob in snobbery, can't I?

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  2. Maybe, Cranky, but not in stupidity. Or bad writing, for that matter. How boring is it to read something that sounds like this: "I'm anxious... I'm angry... I'm in school..." See Dick run. Run, Jane, run. Or don't they teach don't-tell-me-show-me anymore?

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  3. Oh, come on Pauli, you mean this isn't the height of literary genius:

    Here's my response: whatever.

    Like, oh my God! That is like, so totally what I would say. Ohmahgosh, like, that journalism degree is like so totally valuable.

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  4. "I revealed my true feelings of Twitter"

    I love that sentence. either that journalism is a complete idiot who can't write or an amazingly articulate example of the inner workings of today's journalistic soul, because that's all we get in the media now is "true feelings of Twitter".

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  5. Kathleen, wow... I must have been skimming this thing fast because I completely missed just how bad that sentence is grammatically. Probably more than any other phrase, it accentuates the internal contradiction in his tiresome point: "who the hell cares?" But if your opinion is written on cheap paper with a fancy masthead and it's about how someone at a rubber factory makes too much money, THEN we should all care.

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  6. LOL! The grand irony is that newspapers are bleeding red ink and nosediving into oblivion (you should excuse the mixed metaphors, please!) -- so, when this dude graduates from J-School, he'll be lucky to even find a job, except maybe s a blogger. :)

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  7. No wonder journalism is such a joke. People like that little snot are attracted to journalism like flies to dog poop.

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  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Morgan, I respect the fact that you decided to delete your remark, so I won't quote any of it. However I do feel the need to make a short response. If you continue to disrespect any writer who is not part of the dead tree industrial complex and strawman them as people who merely riff on what they ate for breakfast then you will be laughed at remorselessly and have your feelings hurt to a degree which could best be described as "Charlie Brownesque".

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