Rod Dreher Orlando Confidential
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What Rod Dreher thinks may have killed 49 in Orlando |
Rod Dreher writes:
1. He was likely a closet case.
2. He was probably mentally ill.
3. He was filled with rage at everybody.
Before I go any further I need to stress for readers who may be confused that this is not a confession. Rod is not talking about himself, but rather about Omar Mateen, the self-professed ISIS martyr who killed 49 in an Orlando gay club and wounded at least as many more.
Rod takes pains to elaborate under 1.
What kind of devout Muslim goes drinking booze at a gay bar? You’re going to blame Islam for this guy? Really?
Um...well, yeah, Rod...really.
The guy whom the FBI investigated twice previously for Islamic terrorism. Yeah, really.
The guy who shouted "Allah hu Akbar" as he methodically shot gays - who are routinely murdered in Islamic nations when not formally sentenced to death by their various governments - yeah, really.
The guy who calmly pledged allegiance to ISIS on 911. Yeah, really.
Commenter Fran Macadam points out:
He’s not the first Islamist terrorist to enjoy a libertine Florida lifestyle; so did the 9/11 perpetrators.
Yeah, really, really, really.
But Rod has a big problem that desperately needs a solution. His blog boasts more than a few Muslim and gay readers, and so he needs a narrative solution to Orlando that won't dare alienate even one of them, because they might also purchase his upcoming Benedict Option book, if only out of fondness for his blog or curiosity.
So Rod needs an Orlando narrative that pops into our universe, does its dirty work, and then vanishes back into the mysterious alternate universe from whence it came - sort of like the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghostbusters.
What can pull off this neat trick of producing a mysterious one-off, other-dimensional, self-extinguishing injection of mass murder into our universe?
Why, a unique, mentally ill, self-loathing homosexual.
Rod's Muslim commenter Jones? Not implicated. Rod's mentally "healthy", butt-humping gay commentariat at large? Not implicated.
Just Sta-Pufty Omar Mateen, random, idiosyncratic, incomprehensible hate-bot.
"Dangerous faggot" Milo Yiannopoulos, an actual conservative not needing to desperately suck up to every possible Muslim, liberal, or even gay reader, sees things a bit differently
Milo will be expanding on this epiphany today at 6:00 PM EST at the University of Central Florida, Orlando.Liberals: the problem with putting Muslims at the top of your victimhood hierarchy is that THEY WANT TO KILL EVERYONE ELSE ON THE LIST— Milo Yiannopoulos ✘ (@Nero) June 12, 2016
Rod's newly discovered existential innocence obviously has implications for his Benedict Option - or does it?
Come to think of it, Rod's Benedict Option has always explicitly declared it was never about resistance to, well, anything other than those particular elements of contemporary culture each BOpper decides for themselves they find aesthetically unattractive.
Instead, it has always instead used the vague term "thickening", which cynical readers can't be blamed for believing probably refers to over-consuming the delicious goodies featured in Rod's regular food porn posts.
So...eat, drink, and thicken, pretending you're invisible to everyone else, and hope that Sta-Pufty doesn't suddenly burst into your universe inexplicably shouting "Allah hu Akbar" while pumping slugs into your little girls head.
UPDATE (as they say): Beyond Rod's immediate publishing interests, what other factors might be contributing to the fantasy balloon commenter Fran Macadam so neatly popped?
Hmmm...what does Wick Allison, the guy who ultimately pays for Rod's health care and other family benefits think about this?
Well, he thinks, through his FrontBurner blog puppets, this:
Dan Patrick Biblical Tweet, conceivably but not at all necessarily pointing to Orlando - bad.
Lovely gay marriage celebration as Dan Patrick-cleansing mouthwash - good.
So good, in fact, that new D Magazine Executive Editor Kathy Wise comments
Beautiful. Thanks Peter! Reminds me of my wife's wedding proposal. Minus the blindfold. And the dancers. And the ribbon wavers. And the choir robes. #loveisloveisloveisloveislove
So, if Rod wants to keep his kids in braces, he'd better understand how the cow eats the cabbage: the people who buy the fabulous, high end stuff Wick Allison depends on to keep his magazine afloat have the tastes and disposable income concentrated in gay communities, so Orlando must implicitly become an act of "homophobic terrorism", not something divisive and distracting like Islamic terrorism.
And besides, Sta-Pufty can't be killed by a Sig Sauer MCX, not even by "a Glock with a lot of clips in it".